Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Family Planning, The Costco Method

Some weeks after giving birth to Secondborn, Hubby and I had the discussion on which contraceptive path we wanted to take. After some discussion we opted for something non-hormonal. Let's face facts, folks. I'm crazy enough as it is without introducing any new variants to the mix. So, I chose the diaphragm.
After receiving mine I quickly realized that I had forgotten to pick up the required spermicide to be used along with the diaphragm. I quickly added it to the following week's grocery list and put it out of mind. The days that followed were something of a blur of preparations and excitement as we were expecting a visit from the in-laws.
Monday finally rolled around and we had a full day of shopping planned. First we had the grocery store and then home for lunches and naps. This would be followed by a trip to Costco for all our bulk item needs. After a busy morning of household chores we all loaded up and headed to the grocery store.
At this point, Firstborn routinely refuses to ride in the shopping carts no matter where we are, what we attempt to bribe him with, or what cool car concept cart it might be. In an effort to be somewhat in control of our mobile circus, I suggested that he push one of the smaller carts while Hubby would push the larger cart and Secondborn. An hour and only minimal (depending on who you ask) damage later, we checked out.
As I was unpacking the groceries in our kitchen I realized that we had accidentally omitted an important item from our list.
"Crap. We forgot the spermicide" , I said to Hubby.
"Well, we're still going to Costco this afternoon," was his reply.
Somewhat taken aback I asked, "Exactly how much sex are you planning on us having? I mean, I'm all for fun and games, but I've got two kids aged two and under. I'm a tired woman most days. Three, four times tops (a week), is about all I can manage after cleaning up after Firstborn. And let's not forget about Secondborn parking herself at my boobs throughout the day and night."
Even as I was saying those words my mind was flooded with pictures of tubes of spermicide so large that it would require a forklift to load them into the MommyMobile.
Poor Hubby. It wasn't what he quite meant to come out, but even he got a good laugh once he realized the implications of his reply.
And for the record, Costco doesn't carry spermicide. I know. Hubby and I both looked.

No comments: