The House Of Ill Re-Poop, I AM MOMMY

I live in the house of ill re-poop. And, no, I did not get the saying wrong. Within less than a week my tribe has had a nasty sinus infection, stomach virus, kidney stone, and a mutated stomach virus. I've been covered in poop, puke, and pee. I feel like a human Kleenex, or worse, a CSI case work load.

First and Secondborn have both been on Zyrtec for allergies for ten days. Unfortunately, Firstborn still developed a sinus infection. After a trip to the pedi for antibiotics we arrived home later that afternoon to a yurping Secondborn. Right after supper she sweetly sashed up to me while pointing at her mouth and repeated "poop" numerous times.
"Poop?" Why wasn't the kid pointing to her hiney then? Still, she persisted with the vigorous pointing and repetition. Since I was too daft to figure out what she was getting out, she threw me a bone and yurped all over me, the kitchen floor, and the garbage can, surprisingly not in the garbage can though. She's two. She gets a pass this time.
She continued yurping all the way to bathroom as Hubby led her for a much needed bath while I was on cleaning detail. I was summoned to the bathroom within minutes to be informed that there was indeed a code poopey. Awesome. Poor kid had it coming out both ends.
What? Too much? You read the title of this post. You had to know this was coming. Let me give it to you straight. It ain't gonna get any prettier. So, maybe you might want to take your kids that never puke, pee, or poop rainbow colors to the playground for ice cream while I continue on with our bodily fluid filled week in review.
Have you ever been around a two year old that has a case of the tummy yuck? It's sad. The little buggers have no idea why their body is declaring mutiny. Can you imagine what must be going through their minds? My niece woke yurping one morning and told her mom that she'd pooped all over her arms. That must have been what Secondborn thought was going down. Each and every time my sweet baby girl yurped she would have a complete come apart resulting in an immediate and dire need to be consoled within my arms......often prematurely before the yurping had ended. Being her mommy I obliged.
Firstborn threw up a time or two throughout the week. However, his was from sinus drainage. There have been several times I had the chapter from Rick Bragg's, All Over But The Shouting running through my mind where it detailed him suffocating on snot and his daddy had to shove a fistful of salt down his throat forcing vomiting. My baby boy has choked and coughed all week long on this demon drainage. It frightens me, to be honest. The sound of him sucking it back to make room for oxygen is frustrating not only for me but so much more for him, and rightly so.
This morning we woke with that glimmer of fool's gold in our eyes as we'd made it a full twelve hours without anyone upchucking. Sure, Hubby had a slight sore throat and a more pressing back ache, but, I had made it half a day without pulling puke from mine or anyone else's hair. I had even been so brazen as to publish a sweeping declaration on Facebook that the tummy yuck had been conquered. Oh, me of little foresight. *sighs*
Secondborn came to me shortly after 9:00 this morning crying in pain while pointing to her hiney. As I approached my distraught daughter I smelled immediately the offending issue. A scene that played itself out time and time again today. My poor baby girl walked around for a better part of this day holding her hiney while crying out, "It hurtz. Mommy, it hurtz." My heart broke. My stomach turned. But, more so, my heart broke and my arms ached to make my baby feel that all would be well soon.

But, all would not be well soon. Remember Hubb's pressing back ache? It pressed harder. It also moved. Hubby confirmed that yes, he had yet, another kidney stone making its way down that pain laden path. Oh, boy.
I had Firstborn coughing big balls of wet, choking, snott up, Secondborn painfully pooping anything that wasn't substantially attached to her innards, and Hubby alternating between laying in pain on the heating pad or in the jacuzzi tub.
So much for my sweeping declaration of illness banishment. Sweet Josaphat, our household has some seriously bad juju floating around was all I could think. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, I didn't have all that much time to dwell on our past deeds that might have angered those presiding over household well being.
Secondborn was beside herself with her pooping predicament. Keep in mind, we're in the midst of potty training. Pooping her pants continually was not only painful and uncomfortable, but embarrassing and wrong in her world. Firstborn was picking fights with all that crossed his radar since he was still physically uncomfortable. And, Hubby had realized it was time to journey to the nearest E.R.
The rest of my day was spent wiping hineys, mopping floors that had been mopped too many times to count this week, making multiple runs to the market, wiping noses, holding hands, reassuring, taking slight breaks to vent to those few I trust to vent to, and contemplating purchasing large amounts of stock in Lysol.
I am Mommy. Hear me sob silently sometimes. Hear me suck it up, stuff it back down again, and soldier on. I am Mommy. And, I gladly, open armed, silently cursing, accept every mommy poop, pee, and puked covered moment of it. I am Mommy, see me glow and become all that was meant for my ill advised life as I become and not embrace, but swallow and live larger than life the life that only mommies do. I am Mommy and I live for this. I was purposed for this. I am Mommy, awww, crap, let me clean that up for you.
Pin It

Meetup.com or Stoodup.com?

Since moving to Texas in May I've had little interaction with other moms. School was out for the summer, I was busy settling us into our new digs, and it was hotter than the surface of the sun. These were just a few of the excuses I gave myself on not getting out and meeting people. But, finally, I could stand it no longer and began cruising meetup.com for groups of interest. After settling upon a group, I RSVP'ed for a meet up at the local splash pad the following morning.
My tribe of natives and I arrived promptly with a picnic lunch, buckets and water toys aplenty to share, and eager to make new friends. The park was really crowded, but I had worn my big girl panties that morning and proceeded to walk up to the first cluster of moms. I bravely introduced myself and asked if they were with the Area Local Moms' Group to Remain Nameless, you know, to protect their identities and such.
No, they replied. They were the "'09ers". A group dedicated to all babes born in '09. If I had been smart I would have said, "Oh, that's what I meant to say." After all, Secondborn is what you would consider an "'09er". But, alas, it's well proven and documented that I am not the brightest crayon in the box. And, I continued on to the next mommy cluster.
Again, I put on my friendliest, happy camper, maybe a little too eager to make new friends face, and asked, "Are you with the Area Local Moms' Group to Remain Nameless?"
And, once more I was informed that no, they were not members of said group. At this point I felt my big girl panties shrinking a size.
Firstborn was now loudly tugging on my picnic supply laden arm demanding, "Where are all my new friends, Mommy? I thought you said we were going to have friends today?"
"We're still looking, sugarbooger. Be a bit more patient, m'kay?"
And, on I continued around the length of the splash pad asking each and every mommy cluster, and there were many that hot and sunny day, if they belonged to the Area Local Moms' Group to Remain Nameless. After the fourth inquiry I had the lines from P.D. Eastman's book, Are You My Mother going through my head. And, that is what it felt like with each and every inquiry of mommy clusters. "Are you my mother's group?" Followed by strange and blank stares.
I have no idea when it began, but at some point out of my peripheral vision I noticed the women putting their hands over their mouths and begin facing inward cluster. I could only imagine what was being said.
"Oh, the poor thing."
"How humiliating."
"I would be mortified."
And, indeed I was. I asked no less than twelve mommy clusters and all gave the same answer. No, they were not my mother's group. I had to explain to Firstborn that his new friends couldn't make it that morning after all, but we were going to have a fun time anyway. And, indeed we did. A few '09ers even came up to chat, but I knew it was the sympathy chat up. I felt like a social pariah.
After our fun filled morning I left my comments in the "How was your meetup" section. I replied that we had a great time but never found the group. I tried to write it off as an, "Oh well. Maybe next time". By the end of the evening I had three different messages from the director of the group apologizing for canceling the event but not posting that it was cancelled. I felt that she was sincere in her apology and decided to give the group another shot.
Last Tuesday I took the natives to the library for story time. I had even commented on the group's calendar what I would be wearing in hopes of avoiding the splash pad stand up.
Before I go any further let me just say that our library rocks! I'm in love with the library and our story time is phenomenal! I should have realized it was super popular when there was a line to enter the library at ten till 10:00, and story time didn't even begin for another fifteen minutes.
Since no one else had posted what they were wearing I grabbed a spot on the carpet with the natives and waited for someone from the group to approach us. I was not surprised that no one ever did. And, once more left a comment in the "How was your meetup" section about having had a great time, but would have liked to have met the group.
By this time I wondered if it were my fault that I kept missing the group. Obviously, the first time was not my fault as the director had cancelled the meetup and failed to list it as cancelled. But, the second time, well, it was possibly my fault. Or, maybe it was nobody's fault given how crowded story time was.

Yet, I intended to give the group another go. That is until this morning. Firstborn stayed home today sick with a fever and we had to miss story time at the library. But, because I was trying to change my RSVP and comment why we were missing, and deal with two hungry children, one of which was running a high fever and very cranky, I accidentally marked it for Thursday instead of for today, Tuesday.
The director made the comment, "I believe you must have your dates confused." Which, I did have them mixed up. No biggie. Then I received notification for a meetup for Wednesday of next week. But, once more I was trying to put out too many fires while tending to the calendar and thought it was intended for tomorrow. So, I changed my RSVP to "no" and commented that with Firstborn being sick I wouldn't likely make it.
Immediately I received a comment on the public board from the director saying, "Laurie, read your emails more thoroughly. You've confused your dates once more."
Did I confuse two RSVPs in the same morning? You betcha.
But, I could think of a few other ways to have worded that if I were the director, and I certainly wouldn't have put it on the public board.
It's become clear to me that I don't think this group is going to be a good fit. There were several groups that caught my eye during my initial meetup.com cruising. The Misfit Moms and Tattooed, Hippy, Pirate Mammas both look promising to me. Anything is better than getting stood up twice and snarked at on a public board. Make way, Misfits, another mama heading your way.
Pin It